I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
