i just had sex bonerless
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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