Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The power of my boobs compel you
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
