Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
is it fun? or sober?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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