Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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