At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
