HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
