i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
