I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
