There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dear god my vagina.
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