If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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