he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
