we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I understand Curling. That high.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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