I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
if i died would you start the facebook group?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We're too hungover to prance.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
