When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
