There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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