Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
a search helicopter?!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
