I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
NoShamevember. You game?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
