what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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