My hand turned me down
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
