My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
