he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
