My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize