im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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