I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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