I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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