Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
