If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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