I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
