Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize