I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
