lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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