hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
