Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
