Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I believe in your delicious
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