omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
