Sry I called you an 8
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
