i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
