lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Of course I have a pirate flag
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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