let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
