She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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