i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
