(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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