i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
