i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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