Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
His nipple licking is glorious
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