Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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