Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
