I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
