I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
