What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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