hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
