Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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