I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
