You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
