Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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