i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
