I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
