Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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