Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
