Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
